Golden Ashes
by lewdness
Summary: Riku was silent because he knew the darkness still lingered inside of him and he wouldn’t say that under the taste of warmth and sunshine, there was the damning taste of ash. [Oneshot, RikuSora, RoxasRiku]


Title: Golden Ashes_  
_Rating: M/R_  
_Pairings: RikuSora, RoxasRiku_  
_Summary: Riku was silent because he knew the darkness still lingered inside of him; he wouldn't say that under the taste of warmth and sunshine, there was the promising taste of ash._  
_Word Count: 4169_  
_Warnings: Angst, spoilers for first game and some of second (?) and vague smut._  
_Included is bits from post KH2, parts from KH1._  
_A/N: mm, more different stuff. I haven't put much out there lately since I've been hella busy. Almost done with beating a fic for someone else and then I have even more homework to do. 3 Oh, KH, why must you take over my life?

-X-

Kairi's mother always told the best stories when they were young (innocent). Bright fairytale-esque ones with princes and princesses, knights, dragons and magic. The three of them would always crowd around her and beg for stories of places far away from their tiny islands, stories of places that may or may not exist and she would simply smile, and start to weave a story that held them enthralled for hours.

"The king was not evil, nor was he cruel. He simply suffered from what every person had or will at some point in time- greed. He wanted what he could not have, and more of what he did. His kingdom was vast, his people were content and well off and he had a beautiful daughter who all claimed was the fairest in all the land. Out of all of his things, his daughter was his true treasure and he loved her the most." Kairi's mother stirred her mug of tea and took a sip of it, smiling at the intent faces of the children. "One day, a servant brought him a small lamp that he had found along the way to another town. Knowing of the king's fondness for expensive things, he presented it to the king and was rewarded handsomely. The king took the lamp and rubbed it gently to clean it when suddenly a genie floated out of it. The genie said that for freeing him he would grant the man three wishes but when they were gone, he would be as well." 

-X-

The times of sitting in front of Kairi's mother, holding Kairi and Sora's hands tightly had long since passed- it felt like an eternity ago. If he thought about it, it felt like years upon years had passed since they first made the raft, since their island had been swallowed by darkness, since...he had lost himself in it. 

Riku curled up on the threadbare bed, legs drawn in as if to ward off the cold even though he knew he would not be able to get rid of the chill that was inside him.

-X-

"The man thought for a long time and decided on his first wish.' For my daughter,' he said, 'to have anything her heart desires. That is my first wish.' And the wish was granted instantly. 'For my kingdom to always be prosperous and its people forever happy.' Instantly this wish was granted, too. Thinking hard on his last wish, he realized that he had wished for nothing for himself- and then it occurred to him. 'I wish that everything I touch would turn to gold.' The genie paused, but with a flick of his fingers, the wish was granted. 'Are you sure,' the genie asked quietly, 'that you want the final wish? Have you not considered what it means?' The king simply nodded, knowing that this was what he wanted- all the gold in the world could be his! The genie said nothing more, vanishing but not really leaving- he would continue to watch the king."

-X-

_Riku sighed heavily and stared out into the nothingness that lay outside the castle walls. Behind him there was a soft noise; he turned around. Anti-Sora hardly ever made noise- the only thing that Riku ever heard from him was the whisper-slide as he moved around the room and Kairi...Kairi was too far gone to make any noise but when he looked he thought his heart skipped a beat. Anti-Sora had one hand pressed over Kairi's small breasts -a non-sexual move on his part as such things did not occur to the creature about the girl-child- but obviously there was something there that was attracting his attention. Nearly stumbling over his own feet Riku made his way to the girl and drew in a sharp breath when her fingers twitched._

"Kairi...?" he whispered, his voice soft almost like he was afraid that if he spoke too loud, the spell would be broken and she would be a shell again. With a hand that nearly trembled he reached out and touched her cool, pale cheek gently. Anti-Sora made another noise and patted her chest slightly as if searching for something that was there no longer and then turned luminous glowing, golden eyes up to his master. With a sick feeling in his gut, he drew away as if burned, knowing that whatever might have happened he had just broken, ruined.

-X-

There was a knock at his door and then it opened revealing the tall profile of DiZ standing there before he turned around. Wordlessly, Riku stood up and followed. As much as he disliked the man, he was crucial to getting Sora back and awake and he vowed that he would do whatever it took to do that.

-X-

"The king tested out his newfound powers with a smile on his face. First, he touched the chair and it turned to gold instantly. Next came a vase of flowers that his daughter had picked for him; they, too, turned to gold. Laughing, he spun around the room and touched everything in sight from chairs, to desks, to the very walls themselves. A moment later, his daughter came into the room, wondering what was going on. With the smile still on his lips, he explained to her what had happened and told her to get a vase of water. She obeyed, bringing it back with confusion. He told her to pour it over his hand and when she did, gold fell from his fingers, drops of solid gold, ranging in size. 'Do you see?' he exclaimed, spinning around with another laugh. The daughter was silent for a long time and when she spoke, it was soft and hesitant. 'Are you sure this is what you want? What will you do when…?' And before he could think about it, he held her hands to try and convince her. 'My child,' he began only to freeze with horror as gold crept up her arms and swallowed her whole. He cried out with shock, staring at his hands which had just turned his precious treasure to gold."

-X-

"_Something," Maleficent purred knowingly, reaching out to tilt the teen's head up in a pseudo-motherly gesture, "is amiss. Pray tell, child, what is wrong?"_

_Riku's arms wrapped around himself, hands rubbing his skin as if to ward off a chill. "She…Kairi, I mean… I don't know what happened but she moved. She moved and Anti-Sora noticed but when I went and touched her, she… It was like all of the life was gone from her again and it was my fault."_

_Maleficent pursed thin lips and drew the boy close, the lines of her cloak swallowing him whole while a smile curled her lips when he could not see. "My poor boy, did you not realize? Power comes at a great and sometimes terrible price. You have not yet grown into your power yet, but think about what will happen when you do. All may be fixed."_

-X-

"Other kingdoms had heard of the king's new wealth and power and were eager to please him yet they did not know the terrible truth of his power. The statue of the king's daughter was never seen by the masses of people, it was simply hidden in a small room until he could figure out what to do. One night, he figured out what to do. Offering three objects each to five men, he asked them to find another genie in hopes the he could get it to grant his wishes or reverse the ones he already had."

-X-

Riku fell to the ground in a crumpled heap, breathing raggedly and painfully, yet grateful that he could still feel Oblivion under his fingertips. Footsteps echoed down the empty road, splashing in puddles and heading closer to him before pausing. Tensing, he bided his time and then curled his fingers around his Keyblade, pushing up and striking only to be kicked back down again, flat on his back with all the air shoved out of him. One hand held down the one that held the Keyblade, the other was pressing down on his throat just enough to make breathing a little harder. "Don't…" Riku gasped in pain as the heavy weight shifted and kept him grounded, bruises and wounds protesting loudly with pain. "Don't touch…don't touch me."

Roxas laughed, the dead and empty noise echoing through the equally dead and empty town. "You say that every time," he breathed, pulling away the blindfold and smirking down into nearly glowing blue-green eyes. "You aren't afraid of me yet you do fear something every time that I touch you. What is it?"

"No," Riku ground out, shaking his head and arching up when Roxas pressed their lips together in a hard kiss, both of them tasting copper and not caring. The blond only kissed harder, tongue sliding against Riku's own, nipping a little harder than necessary on the taller boy's bottom lip and swallowing the helpless little moan.

-X-

"_Everything…" Riku stared at his hands and then turned his gaze up to Maleficent. "Everything I touch dies…turns to…"_

_Maleficent raised one eyebrow and brushed his fear off easily. "Nonsense."_

_-X-_

_Riku walked forward, up the stairs and to the glowing neon gate where Maleficent stood staring into it with a smug little smile on her lips. "So," he began, pausing beside her and looking up as well. "I see the path has emerged at last."_

_Maleficent did not spare him a glance. "Yes, the keyhole to the darkness."_

_His lips turned up in a slight smile as well, feeling the tendrils of darkness seeping onto the floor and twining around him. "Unlock it and the Heartless will overrun this world."_

_The witch's voice grew patronizing and arrogant now, as if she were insulted that he was speaking to her in such a way. "What do I care?" she demanded, shifting her grip on her staff. "The Darkness holds no power over me. Rather, I will use its power to rule all worlds." _

_Riku was silent for a moment, the sweeping gesture of her hand catching his eye. Her arrogance was getting rather annoying, he thought idly. "Such confidence…" he drawled, holding one hand out and summoning his Keyblade, the weight familiar and vaguely comforting. _

_Maleficent jerked her head to the teen, eyes widening slightly. "Oh." And when simply nothing happened, she growled out a slight curse and whirled around to where Kairi was lying on the ground. "Impossible! The Princesses of Heart are all here! It must…be her." _

_Both Riku and Maleficent moved forward, looking down at the pale girl-child. "Without her heart, she will never be able to release her power." Riku's grip tightened on the dark Keyblade, his head jerking up when a loud noise from the entrance sounded. _

"…_The king's fools are here," Maleficent said dryly, sweeping her arm out widely and moving away from him, tossing one last order over her shoulder. "I'll deal with them myself. You stay here and guard the Princesses."_

_Riku's lips turned into a vague smirk, blue-black mist rising around him as his powers thirsted to get out, to be free. Her haughtiness irritated him, but it would not last for much longer- he could wait that long. _

_It turned out that he did not have to wait long at all. The darkness he had grown used to feeling around him, that he had long since associated with the witch, rippled and weakened. _It's time._ Riku summoned a portal and stepped through. _

_Maleficent was panting heavily, clutching her chest and staggering forward weakly._

"_Do you need some help?" he asked, humoring her for at least a few moments. Maleficent stiffened as if she was about to say something, but was interrupted._

"_Riku!" _

_Riku turned around, watching the slender brunet boy run in, followed by those two idiots and the monster he had beaten so easily earlier. _

"_Is that…" The duck broke off, eyes wide._

"_Yes," Riku turned the Keyblade up and let the murky light bounce off of it. "A Keyblade. But unlike yours, this Keyblade holds the power to unlock people's hearts. Allow me to demonstrate."_

"_Behold!" Whirling around in a swift move, he stabbed Maleficent in the heart, twisting the blade hard, ignoring the choked gasp of shock from Sora and cry of pain from the witch. Pulling hard, he drew out the darkness from her heart. "Now, open your heart, surrender it to the Darkness! Become Darkness itself!"_

_With those words, Riku stepped back and away from the sickly yellow glow that surrounded the witch and glanced back at a pale-faced Sora. He barely heard Maleficent's cries of, "This is it! This power!" Instead, he kept his gaze on Sora and then smiled slightly when the boy crouched low in preparation for the coming battle with the witch-turned-dragon. Moments later, he was not surprised to see her melt away, defeated by the bright Keyblade wielder. _

"_How ironic." He stepped over the flaky black patch on the ground and headed for where Sora was clutching his side and trying to stand his ground at the same time. The obnoxious duck handed him a potion and the brunet swallowed it quickly, still at the ready incase Riku attacked. "She was just another pawn for Darkness after all."_

"_What!" The duck squawked, and Riku wanted nothing more than to crush it._

"_The Heartless were using Maleficent from the beginning. She failed to notice the darkness eating away at her own heart." Glancing down at the mess beneath his feet, he ground the toe of his boots into it and watched it vanish into thin air. "A fitting end for such a fool."_

_With those words, he summoned another portal and backed into it, never dropping his gaze from Sora's bright blue eyes until the Darkness swallowed him once more. He knew it would happen; Maleficent's demise was no surprise to him because after all, he had touched her. _

-X-

"No matter what he had done to save her, no cure could be found. Each day he would return to the room where she was, and place a single golden rose at her feet as an apology and a promise to find a way to help her. Each time someone would return with a lamp that yielded no genie he would lose a little more hope. The king was growing thinner and thinner, unable to eat or drink and slowly wasting away while his daughter simply stood in the room, asleep and unknowingly trapped in her prison."

-X-

_Riku lounged against the warm metal paneling, waiting for the tell-tale footsteps of the teen and smiling slightly when he heard them. "Kairi!" Sora cried out, lunging forward, picking her up and shaking her gently. Why did he pretend to care? He had spent the last few weeks with two new friends, two friends who had replaced Kairi and Riku himself so why did he act as if he was concerned? "Kairi! Kairi! Open your eyes!"_

"_It's no use…" Riku said quietly, watching as Sora's head jerked up and searched for him. "That girl has lost her heart; she cannot wake up." _

_Sora gently put her back down and stood up, wanting to summon the Keyblade but resisting for the moment. "What? You-you're not Riku."_

What?_ Riku opened his mouth to say something, only to find that his voice was gone and he couldn't move. _What's going on! Ansem! Why can't-why can't I…

You have played your part, child. _Ansem's voice was darkly amused as he pushed Riku to the back of his own mind and locked him away with little effort._ You too, are just a pawn in the game and it is your time to be sacrificed.

Ansem! What the hell are you- No!

_And then there was nothing but darkness once more. _

-X-

Roxas stripped the last of their clothing save for gloves away and slid his hands down Riku's stomach. "You're looking at me like _that_ again," he said quietly. "Will you ever tell me why?"

Riku didn't answer, his breath catching when Roxas kissed him and wrapped a hand around his cock at the same time, the sensation making his head spin for a brief moment.

"Why?" Roxas broke their kiss and lifted leather-clad fingers to Riku's kiss-swollen, glistening lips. "Here."

Obeying the unsaid command, he drew the fingers into his mouth, groaning as Roxas' hand slid up his cock teasingly. "_Why_?" Roxas asked again, withdrawing his fingers and sliding them across Riku's bottom lip gently before bringing them down between Riku's parted legs.

"Because…" Riku moaned low and a little desperate as one slickened, searching finger found its way inside him. "All…everyone I- aah, Roxas-! E-Everyone I touch turns to...nnh… gold ash."

Roxas was silent for a long time, his face unreadable and then two fingers found their way into Riku, gaining a startled moan. "Why are you worried about that? I'm a Nobody, a nothing." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Riku's ear. "There's nothing left to turn to ash anymore."

"You're…" Riku drew in a shaky breath and kissed Roxas again, breathing against the blond's lips, "You're still a part of Sora. That much is still there."

-X-

_It was so cold inside his own heart- he'd never thought about it before, but after being in there for so long, it was all he could think of. How long it had been since he'd been trapped there, he didn't know. What he did know was that he wanted to be home. He wanted the warmth and the sunlight of the islands, wanted the smiles of Kairi and Sora, wanted the teen to just hug him and say that everything was okay and none of this had happened. _

_He…he was too weak to fight anymore. There was nothing even worth fighting _for_. Sora was gone, Kairi would probably never wake up and everything was his fault. The darkness around him, the Heartless taking over the worlds, and the kidnapping of the Princesses- everything hinged around his weakness._

_There was a ripple in the invisible cage that held him, followed by the weakening of the barriers that kept him prisoner in his own heart; Riku staggered to his feet and pressed his hands to the walls, fingertips searching for any weak spot in it, any way to get out. For a brief moment, he could see out of his own eyes. Kairi…Kairi was (ohgodsaliveawakeokay) standing up, violet eyes wide and very nearly panicked. If he strained his ears, he could hear Ansem speaking._

"_So," Ansem stepped through the portal, taking in the sight of the King's fools and the girl-child standing there. "You have awakened at last, Princess. The keyhole is now complete, you have served your purpose- but now it's over."_

_The duck huffed angrily, his staff at the ready. "Don't make another move!"_

"_Do you think we can stop him all by ourselves?" The dog leaned over, whispering to his friend. Ansem kept forward, his footsteps heavy and unhurried as the duck muttered an, "I don't know."_

_It was at that moment, Riku knew what Ansem planned on doing. Kairi had outlived her usefulness and he planned on killing them all to get them out of his way. _No. No!_ Riku yelled out, slamming his fists down upon the cage, over and over and over, feeling it ripple and weaken once more before breaking and then he was in control of his body for just a moment._

"_No! Y-you won't… you won't use me for this!" Riku gasped out, one hand clutching his heart as he fought to keep Ansem at bay. _

"_Riku!" Kairi hissed, reaching out as if she could touch him and then drawing back when the boy shook his head._

"_You've gotta run! The Heartless are coming!" And around them, they melted up from the ground, glowing eyes watching them and waiting for the time to strike. _No. They won't get her, I won't let them._ Meeting Kairi's eyes, he hoped that he could convey everything he felt to her–_sorrypleasepleasegodon'tdiesososorrySorano-_ and when she nodded jerkily, whirling around and running, he knew that whatever happened to him after that would be okay, because he had bought them time. _

"_You irritating little _child_!" Ansem growled and then they were back inside his mind once more. "How _dare _you try to-"_

"_I won't let you use me for this. You'll have to kill me first because I'll fight you every step of the way."_

_Ansem grabbed the teen by the throat and then laughed roughly. "I won't kill you. I have a use for you yet. Instead, let your nightmares keep you company."_

_-X-_

"The king was growing weary of searching and finding nothing. He was not able to waste away as he wanted to, instead he lingered on and simply sat for hours on end, watching the statue of his daughter and wishing for anything to stop this. His kingdom was prosperous, its people happy yet he found that he could care less because he had lost all that mattered to him. All of the gold around him, he wanted nothing more than to make it go away, yet he had no way to rid himself of it. One morning, he touched his daughter's hand and whispered, 'I wish I'd never made that request.' Suddenly, the genie from before appeared. 'You have realized your error, I see,' he said quietly. 'Before you ask, I cannot grant you any other wishes- it was your wish that caused this.' The king simply shook his head, not knowing what he could say or do to stop this when suddenly it occurred to him. 'My daughter- I asked that her heart's desires be granted to her- that part of my wish has yet to be fulfilled. Release her for a short time and ask her what it is!' The genie smiled slightly and obeyed, snapping his fingers."

_-X-_

"You still won't touch me?" Roxas asked quietly in a rare moment of…contentment. Riku glanced over at him, that careful distance between them, regardless of how close they had just been. "You touch me when we sleep together, yet you will not any other time."

Riku sank back into the bed, aching in a way he had grown accustomed to. "Does it really matter?"

"I can't die; by your standards I'm already dead."

And later, when he watched Roxas reach out and take Sora's hand, vanishing an instant later, a sad little voice inside him whispered, "See?"

-X-

"The girl was turned back from gold and the first thing she did was hug her father tightly, for the moment, immune to the gift turned curse. 'I've been able to watch and hear all of this,' she said quietly, 'and all that I want is for my father to not have these powers anymore because he is not happy. That's is my heart's desire.' And the genie nodded once more, snapping his fingers to break the spell. 'As you wish, Princess.' And the king, relieved that his daughter was better now, gave much of the gold to the poor people he knew of and used the rest to keep his kingdom prosperous and never after that desired anything other than his daughter's happiness."

-X-

Sora shifted his grip on Riku, leading them out from the final battle only to end up on the beach of Nothingness. How many hours, or even days passed, Riku didn't know, but when Sora spoke finally he stilled instantly. "I wish…I wish that you trusted me."

"What?"

Sora crawled closer and nudged Riku's knees apart so he could kneel there and keep Riku's eyes on him. "You won't touch me, or even look at me and you flinch every time I try to. Are you…are you hurt?"

Riku laughed a little brokenly. "You wouldn't understand, Sora."

"Why not! I-"

Riku cut off the indignant exclamation with a shake of his head. "Remember…the story about the king with the cursed golden touch?" At Sora's nod, he continued. "Everyone I touch dies…turns to-"

Sora leaned forward, cutting off the quiet words with his lips, holding the older boy tightly. "No, Riku," he whispered gently, relieved when Riku's lips parted and they kissed a little deeper. "Not anymore."

Riku was silent because he knew the darkness still lingered inside of him; he wouldn't say that under the taste of warmth and sunshine, there was the promising taste of ash.

--

I'm going to ask something a little different this time. If you have or if you haven't read anything else of mine, but you have read this, I'd like to ask if you guys could give points that you /don't/ like. I know, sounds weird. But I know that there are different things that different people like and if you don't like a certain way that I write a character, or you think that character X isn't quite right then I'd like to hear. I love debating/hearing about what other people think about certain characters and, if possible, making myself a better writer because of it. Or, if you like, ego!stroking is always good. 3


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